8 Must-Read books on Dying & Grieving
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1. Anam Cara, John O’Donohue

"Anam Cara is a rare synthesis of philosophy, poetry, and spirituality. This work will have a powerful and life-transforming experience for those who read it." —Deepak Chopra

John O'Donohue, poet, philosopher, and scholar, guides you through the spiritual landscape of the Irish imagination. In Anam Cara, Gaelic for "soul friend," the ancient teachings, stories, and blessings of Celtic wisdom provide such profound insights on the universal themes of friendship, solitude, love, and death.

This is an incredibly beautiful and wise book about life and death. John O’Donohue explores the depths of the human soul and offers us a powerful balm for the tragedies of this world while illuminating the immense beauty and love of being human.

2. The Wild Edge of Sorrow, Francis Weller

The work of the mature person is to carry grief in one hand and gratitude in the other and be stretched large by them."

The Wild Edge of Sorrow teaches us to become an apprentice to our grief so we may open more fully to life. By coming into a reverent relationship with our sorrow, we connect deeply with our soul and can renew ourselves. He walks through the five gates of grief and offers such strong support through this book and his grief tending rituals. This is one I turn to regularly and have been re-reading for years. Yes!

3. Die Wise, Stephen Jenkinson

Die Wise does not offer seven steps for coping with death. It does not suggest ways to make dying easier. It pours no honey to make the medicine go down. Instead, with lyrical prose, deep wisdom, and stories from his two decades of working with dying people and their families, Stephen Jenkinson places death at the center of the page and asks us to behold it in all its painful beauty. Die Wise teaches the skills of dying, skills that have to be learned in the course of living deeply and well. Die Wise is for those who will fail to live forever.

Dying well, Jenkinson writes, is a right and responsibility of everyone. It is not a lifestyle option. It is a moral, political, and spiritual obligation each person owes their ancestors and their heirs. Die Wise dreams such a dream, and plots such an uprising. How we die, how we care for dying people, and how we carry our dead: this work makes our capacity for a village-mindedness, or breaks it.

4. The Smell of Rain on Dust, Martin Prechtel

Incredible look at the role of grieving in our healing and health of individuals and communities of people. Martin explores the connection between grief and praise in this beautiful offering.

5. Who Dies? Stephen Levine

Another beautifully written book helping us dive into our own relationship with our mortality and preparations for what may comes next. His calm, compassionate, and beautiful. outlook is healing and very pleasant to read.

6. The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, Sogyal Rinpoche

“A magnificent achievement. In its power to touch the heart, to awaken consciousness, [The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying] is an inestimable gift.”
San Francisco Chronicle

Powerful introduction to the wisdom of Tibetan Buddhism on life and death. This provides so much insight and context and offers great expansion in our understanding of human mortality.

7. The American Book of Living and Dying, Richard Groves

This is an incredible book looking at our modern experience of dying. Filled with inspiration and applications to support anyone in their relationship with mortality. Highly recommended.

8 Being Mortal, Atul Gawande

#1 New York Times Bestseller

In Being Mortal, bestselling author Atul Gawande tackles the hardest challenge of his profession: how medicine can not only improve life but also the process of its ending

This informative read offers explanation of how the medicalization of death took root in North America and explores where we are now. What is the role of a doctor in dying?

The Importance of Massage During the Holidays
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Massage is a wise self care strategy during the holiday season.

A 2004 study published in Circulation uncovered that during the holiday season there is a 5% increase of heart-related deaths. The increased strain on the heart during cold weather months combined with the emotional stress and overconsumption all may play a role in this spike of heart attacks during the winter holidays. Massage helps keep the heart healthy and balance circulation during the holiday season. It lowers blood pressure and helps support the heart.

A 2006 American Psychological Association study found that 61% of Americans feel stress during the winter holiday months. Massage helps the body perform better under stress. It can also reduce the amount of cortisol released into the body and increase levels of dopamine and serotonin. Massage is a great de-stressing solution, even thirty minutes can make a significant impact.

Muscular pain and tension can also spike this season. Cold temperatures can increase some joint problems and cause pain to be more intense during the winter months. Aches and pains may creep back in from stress and heavy work loads. Massage can help the body release and the muscles release. It can also increase the tissue temperatures decreasing pain and improving flexibility.

Reiki Healing for Chronic Pain

If you suffer from chronic pain and are open to trying new modalities in the name of feeling better, Reiki may be a great option. In a Reiki session, the practitioner will lightly lay his/her hands on the client and help the flow of energy move more freely throughout the body.

I know it sounds fluffy but a recent study of the International Journal of Behavioral Medicine reviewed 66 clinical trials on biofield therapies, and concluded that there was strong evidence that these therapies minimized the intensity of pain for hospitalized patients and those with cancer. An additional review of 24 studies, touch therapies were found to reduce pain and that Reiki stood out as the most successful energetic technique involved. (Julie Kusiak)

Reiki can also be extremely beneficial for those healing from invasive surgeries or traumatic experiences that have left some lingering symptoms. The peace and comfort that come from a Reiki session can have lingering effects and can help support a life with less pain and less limitation from such pain.

Book a distance Reiki healing session with me today to dive deep into your self care and personal healing.

Spiritual Healing Through Reiki
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Spiritual healing is a wonderful and common result of giving and receiving Reiki. 

The word, "Reiki" translates to "spiritually guided energy" and is a non-religious term. People from all faiths can practice or receive Reiki without having to give up the beliefs they may carry. Reiki often helps to strengthen and support the individual’s religious beliefs and practices.

Reiki can offer a deeply calming experience that can promote and support deeper exploration and soul connection. This form of energy healing has been known to help people let go of spiritual pain and regrets. Reiki can help us remember how to connect with our deeper selves and find love and acceptance for that person. It can help us deepen our compassion and forgiveness towards ourselves but also towards others.

If you’re interested in experiencing Reiki for yourself, you can book a session with me here.

10 Benefits of Massage as a part of Hospice & Palliative Care
end of life care massage and energy work portland

1. Natural Pain Relief

Massage can significantly reduce chronic and acute pain. It can support comfort care and reduce the amount of medications needed for someone to remain comfortable. This can help support increased awareness and alertness while keeping pain low.

2. Boost the Quality of Life

Massage can help someone relax and feel more at ease. There is a labor to dying and the more ease we can inspire, the easier this transition can be. Massage offers compassionate touch and attentive care. It can help someone feel seen, understood, and connected.

3. Minimize Anxiety

Massage helps relieve anxiety and instill feelings of peace and tranquility. It can help regulate the nervous system and promote the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest system) while allowing the sympathetic nervous system to take a break. It can reduce levels of cortisol in the system.

4. Enhance Mood

Massage offers support to those who are experiencing depression or sadness in this stage of life. Massage helps release endorphins and decrease the release of cortisol in the body.

5. Support Immune function

Massage can significantly help with lymph flow. This helps strengthen the function of the immune system and fight infection.

6. Improve digestion & ease nausea

Massage offers digestive support and can help promote regular bowl movements and reduce nausea. Many seniors may experience digestive imbalances especially if they are on a number of medications or in Cancer treatment. Massage supports the nervous system in charge of “resting and digesting”, it can help to balance this system and keep things moving through the body.

7. Increase quality and quantity of sleep

Massage can help support sleep. Treatments can help someone sleep more deeply as well as sleep longer. Often clients will fall asleep during the massage and/or notice significant depth in sleep the following nights.

8. Compassionate Touch

Often when someone is at the end of life, the care he or she is receiving is very medical. It may be rare to receive loving touch. Compassionate touch coupled with a healing presence can be incredibly relaxing and can inspire ease.

9. Respiration function

Massage can support respiration and inspire deep breathing. This can be incredibly relaxing and help massage the organs. If breathing is labored, massage can help relax the muscles that are overworking and hypertonic.

10. Improve circulation

Massage therapy can benefit circulation significantly. Helping return blood back to the heart and promote the removal of toxins and nutrient exchange. It can improve blood circulation but also circulation of lymph helping to boost immune function.

What is a Death Doula?
death doulas portland oregon

Death Doula Overview:

A death doula or end of life doula is a non-medical professional who cares for the physical, emotional, and spiritual health of someone approaching death. She often works alongside a doctor or a funeral director  but never in place of. Death doulas are sometimes called soul midwives, end of life guides, death coaches, doulas to the dying. 

What does a Death Doula Do?

  • Helps with end of life planning and logistics

  • Creates a comfortable space for the dying and the family

  • Focuses on the rites and desires of the dying person

  • Helps plan the vigil

  • Help create a legacy project with the family if desired

  • Educates family and friends

  • Helps maintain dignity

  • Helps family and loved ones through grieving

What is a Death Midwife?
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The Death Midwife cares for the spiritual, emotional, and some physical aspects of the dying through all stages of the process and beyond. She teaches the family and loved ones how to care for their dead and how to be present with the individual through this stage of life. A Death Midwife may help the family plan and hold vigil and a funeral service. She may help make plans for the body's remains and legalities involved. 

Death Midwives also help empower their communities to care for their sick and dying as well as working with those who are grieving. There are many overlaps between Death Midwives, Death Doulas, and Home Funeral Guides, so doing a little research can be helpful in determining what person and role may best fit your needs.

What does a Death Midwife do?

A Death Midwife may do some or all of the following: 

  • Support the physical, spiritual, emotional, care of the dying and family

  • Stay with the dying throughout the process

  • Help plan the vigil

  • Fill in the space between hospice/palliative care

  • Educate family on rights, legalities, and being with their loved one

  • Planning a home funeral

  • Filling out the necessary paperwork such as death certificate or transportation permit

  • Help with planning transportation and disposition of the body

  • Post death care and grieving

Read more about  featured Death Midwives on Soulful Senescence.

"You Are The Medicine" - Volunteering with Hospice
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Can you imagine meeting someone in their last six months of life? They’ve lived an entire life that you know nothing of. You walk in to be with this human, to see him or her, to be curious about this life that has been lived and is now closing. You have such a different experience of this person than everyone else in his or her life. You’re being welcomed into this significant transition time. This is what we get to do as Companion Volunteers with Hospice.

I have been volunteering with Signature Hospice in Portland, OR for about two years now. They offer amazing support for their patients, volunteers, and staff. From a volunteering perspective, Signature Hospice offers deep support and expressive appreciation to their team of companion volunteers. We start with a high quality three day training where we cover the details of HIPPA, ethics, spirituality, our own beliefs, and how to care for patients with dementia and Alzheimer’s. We meet and connect with our Spiritual Care Coordinators and other volunteers who have been with Signatures for many years. We ask many questions and talk a lot about boundaries. With a great training under our belts and continued support throughout our volunteering, we go off into the world.

What Is A Companion Volunteer?

As a companion volunteer we can’t help someone eat, stand or bath. We cannot touch medication nor help someone get up if they fall. We are extremely limited in the things we can physically do for someone which is exactly the point. The point of this role is to be present - completely - with someone. We don’t have the option to busy yourself with tasks if you’re uncomfortable. We witness, we love, we spend time, we see this person. That is the doing, and it’s a lot to do.

You Are The Medicine

One thing we learned from the beginning and that has stuck with me since is this idea that “you are the medicine”. My job as a companion volunteer is to be present. To be with someone. I am not fixing or changing anything. It has similarities to the Vipassana meditation experience in that we are asked to be with the present moment, to observe and be in it without reacting, without changing or fixing anything, “as it is”.

As a great manager of many tasks, this is of course the most difficult aspect of the role for me. If someone is screaming out in pain, I can not change their pain, I can be with them in it. Of course we can say this is beautiful and maybe that really helps someone. Maybe it does but not in the fast acting way that pain meds can. Not in a way that may bring the screaming to a stop and subdue the sufferer.

The Actual Work Of It

The actual work of it is not glamorous. There are gems, the shiniest most memorable gems, but we spend a lot of time at the bedside while someone sleeps. In my personal experience, I’ve enjoyed watching many Westerns together, providing Reiki and Massage, holding hands, hearing stories of spouses, families, and travels.

It’s incredibly special that someone allows a stranger to come in at this stage of life. If you’re curious about life, go sit with someone who is dying. You are the student here in the most relaxed of class rooms. This is the human condition. This is my nature and your nature and though our lives look different, birth and death will become each of us. It is our journey to take, it is our passing on to prepare for.

The Actual Love of it

Worth Considering

How do you handle endings? Do you skip to the next song before this one has ended? Do you watch the finishing credits of the movie? Do you leave a relationship at the first sign of trouble? Do you look the other way when you see someone suffering and asking for help?

How do you suffer? Are you able to ask for help? Do you turn inwards? Do you use external distractions? Do you confront the pain, dwell in, feel sorry for yourself? Do you feel sorry for those you know are hurting? Do you fix it - immediately? Do you see it? Are you curious about it

Relief from Anxiety & Stress with Craniosacral Therapy
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Anxiety & Stress

Anxiety and stress make it difficult for your body and immune system to function normally. Your heart may begin to race, breathing may become constricted and shallow, you may feel your shoulders sneak up towards your ears and you may notice shaking hands, a pounding in your head. Though our stress response is there to protect us and keep us out of danger’s way, a response that lingers can be detrimental to our health over time. We need this response when we are confronting a threat, but we need this response to soften as the threat disperses and this doesn’t always happen.

When we experience a stress response that is sustained over time, the stress hormones continue pumping through our bloodstream and get trapped in the body. The Cortisol in your system suppresses your immune system making you more susceptible to illness. Your body has a hard time repairing damaged tissue because available resources are being used elsewhere. The American Institute of Stress suggests that 60% of human disease and 75% of all doctor visits are for stress-related conditions.

These conditions and symptoms may include:

  • Heart disease

  • Weight gain or weight loss

  • Reduced bone density

  • Psychological and learning symptoms

  • Chronic pain

  • High blood pressure

  • Digestive problems

  • Depression and mental illness

How Craniosacral Therapy can help with Anxiety and Stress related symptoms

Craniosacral Therapy combines energy work and body work. The body work can help release muscles, ligaments, and tendons that are stuck tight or have a limited range of motion. Massage can also help release intense emotions that are held within the tissue.

Craniosacral Therapy (CST) specifically focuses on the cerebral spinal fluid that is pumped throughout the body. This fluid nourishes your central nervous system and transports neurotransmitters and hormones throughout this system. The more stress you experience, the harder this system is forced to work and it’s suggested that the production of this fluid is greatly reduced when under stress.

When you go to a Craniosacral Therapist you may feel a sense of deep relaxation and peace. It is common to feel relief of pain, improved sleep, and a sense of expansion. Seeing a Craniosacral therapist can help address the root cause of one’s anxiety and depression and induce a sense of deep relaxation that has lingering benefits. This work can help restore and re-energize this system.

Stress & Anxiety symptoms that body work and Craniosacral can help relieve:

  • Chronic pain

  • Tight muscles

  • Jaw tensions

  • Emotional distress

  • Insomnia

  • Stress & Anxiety

  • Fear & Doubt

  • Feeling lost or without direction

  • Lack of creativity

If you’re interested in booking a Craniosacral Session with me to get started, you can do so here.

Healing from a Car Accident with Craniosacral Therapy
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Motor vehicle accidents (MVA’s) account for a large percentage of Traumatic Brain Injuries (TBI’s) and those who have experienced a TBI may be great candidates for Craniosacral Therapy.

Craniosacral Therapy is a gentle modality that focuses on the flow of cerebral spinal fluid (CSF) throughout the body. This fluid nourishes the brain and spinal cord and it is felt as a physical pulse that can be palpated throughout the entire body. Restrictions in the flow of cerebral spinal fluid can result from physical and emotional trauma and restoring a natural circulation can reduce systemic and specific symptoms down the road (and immediately).

Craniosacral & Healing from a Motor Vehicle Accident:

When the body experiences physical trauma such as a collision while driving, the entire nervous system experiences shock and this can take months or years to settle. Often this can detract from productivity and can have lingering negative effects in one’s day to day life. This kind of trauma can also result in compressions and torsions in sutures, muscles, tendons, and ligaments which can impede the flow of cerebral spinal fluid preventing the natural exchange of nutrients and the flushing of toxins throughout the body.

Symptoms associated with MVA’s that Craniosacral Therapy may help relieve include:

  • Pain (chronic & acute)

  • Fear of driving

  • Anxiety

  • Depression

  • Irritability

  • Muscular tension

  • Whiplash

If you’re interested in booking a Craniosacral Session with me to get started, you can do so here.

To learn more about Craniosacral for those who have experienced a motor vehicle accident below are a few more resources.