1. Anam Cara, John O’Donohue

"Anam Cara is a rare synthesis of philosophy, poetry, and spirituality. This work will have a powerful and life-transforming experience for those who read it." —Deepak Chopra

John O'Donohue, poet, philosopher, and scholar, guides you through the spiritual landscape of the Irish imagination. In Anam Cara, Gaelic for "soul friend," the ancient teachings, stories, and blessings of Celtic wisdom provide such profound insights on the universal themes of friendship, solitude, love, and death.

This is an incredibly beautiful and wise book about life and death. John O’Donohue explores the depths of the human soul and offers us a powerful balm for the tragedies of this world while illuminating the immense beauty and love of being human.

2. The Wild Edge of Sorrow, Francis Weller

The work of the mature person is to carry grief in one hand and gratitude in the other and be stretched large by them."

The Wild Edge of Sorrow teaches us to become an apprentice to our grief so we may open more fully to life. By coming into a reverent relationship with our sorrow, we connect deeply with our soul and can renew ourselves. He walks through the five gates of grief and offers such strong support through this book and his grief tending rituals. This is one I turn to regularly and have been re-reading for years. Yes!

3. Die Wise, Stephen Jenkinson

Die Wise does not offer seven steps for coping with death. It does not suggest ways to make dying easier. It pours no honey to make the medicine go down. Instead, with lyrical prose, deep wisdom, and stories from his two decades of working with dying people and their families, Stephen Jenkinson places death at the center of the page and asks us to behold it in all its painful beauty. Die Wise teaches the skills of dying, skills that have to be learned in the course of living deeply and well. Die Wise is for those who will fail to live forever.

Dying well, Jenkinson writes, is a right and responsibility of everyone. It is not a lifestyle option. It is a moral, political, and spiritual obligation each person owes their ancestors and their heirs. Die Wise dreams such a dream, and plots such an uprising. How we die, how we care for dying people, and how we carry our dead: this work makes our capacity for a village-mindedness, or breaks it.

4. The Smell of Rain on Dust, Martin Prechtel

Incredible look at the role of grieving in our healing and health of individuals and communities of people. Martin explores the connection between grief and praise in this beautiful offering.

5. Who Dies? Stephen Levine

Another beautifully written book helping us dive into our own relationship with our mortality and preparations for what may comes next. His calm, compassionate, and beautiful. outlook is healing and very pleasant to read.

6. The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, Sogyal Rinpoche

“A magnificent achievement. In its power to touch the heart, to awaken consciousness, [The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying] is an inestimable gift.”
—San Francisco Chronicle

Powerful introduction to the wisdom of Tibetan Buddhism on life and death. This provides so much insight and context and offers great expansion in our understanding of human mortality.

7. The American Book of Living and Dying, Richard Groves

This is an incredible book looking at our modern experience of dying. Filled with inspiration and applications to support anyone in their relationship with mortality. Highly recommended.

8 Being Mortal, Atul Gawande

#1 New York Times Bestseller

In Being Mortal, bestselling author Atul Gawande tackles the hardest challenge of his profession: how medicine can not only improve life but also the process of its ending

This informative read offers explanation of how the medicalization of death took root in North America and explores where we are now. What is the role of a doctor in dying?

Can you imagine meeting someone in their last six months of life? They’ve lived an entire life that you know nothing of. You walk in to be with this human, to see him or her, to be curious about this life that has been lived and is now closing. You have such a different experience of this person than everyone else in his or her life. You’re being welcomed into this significant transition time. This is what we get to do as Companion Volunteers with Hospice.

I have been volunteering with Signature Hospice in Portland, OR for about two years now. They offer amazing support for their patients, volunteers, and staff. From a volunteering perspective, Signature Hospice offers deep support and expressive appreciation to their team of companion volunteers. We start with a high quality three day training where we cover the details of HIPPA, ethics, spirituality, our own beliefs, and how to care for patients with dementia and Alzheimer’s. We meet and connect with our Spiritual Care Coordinators and other volunteers who have been with Signatures for many years. We ask many questions and talk a lot about boundaries. With a great training under our belts and continued support throughout our volunteering, we go off into the world.

What Is A Companion Volunteer?

As a companion volunteer we can’t help someone eat, stand or bath. We cannot touch medication nor help someone get up if they fall. We are extremely limited in the things we can physically do for someone which is exactly the point. The point of this role is to be present - completely - with someone. We don’t have the option to busy yourself with tasks if you’re uncomfortable. We witness, we love, we spend time, we see this person. That is the doing, and it’s a lot to do.

You Are The Medicine

One thing we learned from the beginning and that has stuck with me since is this idea that “you are the medicine”. My job as a companion volunteer is to be present. To be with someone. I am not fixing or changing anything. It has similarities to the Vipassana meditation experience in that we are asked to be with the present moment, to observe and be in it without reacting, without changing or fixing anything, “as it is”.

As a great manager of many tasks, this is of course the most difficult aspect of the role for me. If someone is screaming out in pain, I can not change their pain, I can be with them in it. Of course we can say this is beautiful and maybe that really helps someone. Maybe it does but not in the fast acting way that pain meds can. Not in a way that may bring the screaming to a stop and subdue the sufferer.

The Actual Work Of It

The actual work of it is not glamorous. There are gems, the shiniest most memorable gems, but we spend a lot of time at the bedside while someone sleeps. In my personal experience, I’ve enjoyed watching many Westerns together, providing Reiki and Massage, holding hands, hearing stories of spouses, families, and travels.

It’s incredibly special that someone allows a stranger to come in at this stage of life. If you’re curious about life, go sit with someone who is dying. You are the student here in the most relaxed of class rooms. This is the human condition. This is my nature and your nature and though our lives look different, birth and death will become each of us. It is our journey to take, it is our passing on to prepare for.

The Actual Love of it

Worth Considering

How do you handle endings? Do you skip to the next song before this one has ended? Do you watch the finishing credits of the movie? Do you leave a relationship at the first sign of trouble? Do you look the other way when you see someone suffering and asking for help?

How do you suffer? Are you able to ask for help? Do you turn inwards? Do you use external distractions? Do you confront the pain, dwell in, feel sorry for yourself? Do you feel sorry for those you know are hurting? Do you fix it - immediately? Do you see it? Are you curious about it